Have you ever stared up at a high obstacle? Did your neck bend back so much that it almost snapped? Were you overwhelmed by how much you would have to get through? Thats how it is going to be next week, when a procrastinator meets the very last deadline. Just thinking of the week makes me feel so tired and worn out. Its just that overwhelming.
But rather worse the thought of a near future, my families drama. I want to get out of this house, I will snap again if I don't. This is not a welcoming home, this is a cold war within turfs. Sadly in truth there is no turf for me, but for now my room is my very own escape. The mother and son relationship is close to snapping between not just me but my brother. The father and daughter relationship is blocked by a stubborn woman. The brother and sister relationship is becoming cold as one tries to escape for himself while the other wants to escape with her brother. And the individual against himself is a big challenge consisting of keeping thier composure, trying to hold a sound mind but slipping back into the real world, getting himself into one big cluster f$!#. And there is almost no escape for him within individuals around him and/or the connection within his Diety. I want a restoration before my heart goes past frustration to self destruction from all connections with everone around me.
Damn the wall, because unlike other people's wall there is no real check points for me. What I see is a future in the very long run, but for those short term check points, all there is a moment of rest and then more climbing. No event to look forward between them, no one to help, just yourself and the blood covered hands to keep climbing...and where falling is not listed as an option.
No comments:
Post a Comment