In a time of disasters and tragedies, Nepal is crumbling and Baltimore is burning. The world is coming to an end while I'm suddenly having a pleasant day...How terribly self-absorbed of me.
Recently I have left my old job, the legacy of the Kettle corn will have to continue on without me. As of yesterday I started working in a senior living facility where I am to be a cook. While I've worked several years within the food industry as a front of the house attendant in bussing, food running, hosting, and everything else but serving, this experience with working in the kitchen is new to me...and for that I'm at an edge of an anxiety attack. I'm nervous and I've sensed this uneasiness from other staff members which is setting me at the edge...even discovered my boss has a nervous tick, while he tries to contain his impatience he does little to hide it. I can read him I can see where he's on the edge of exploding and it scares me. I've seen these kinds of people, almost every cook I've worked with has one...it's like a short fuse to a bomb and anyone who sets it off will be blasted.
But today everything went well, I've applied what I learned yesterday into today's dining and did far better at my job, and even had the chance to interact with the residents and I tell you my heart is swelled with a deep sense of respect and love for these residents. Never have I felt such joy in serving others then I have in working here, even if they're grumpy or demanding I understand....I understand, they've lived out their lives, good and bad things have happened, their life stories are far more interesting then my own...And they will receive the respect they deserve. And I thank God I had the opportunity to work here and I hope I'll get better at it to become a great cook despite the great amount of self-doubt I have. Because I enjoy it here, I want to continue to work here, and I pray that my heart never hardens to them that it will continue to swell with love and compassion for these people. I fear that stepping too close could result in heart ache later for this home may be the last they'll ever have.
To think I've searched for so long to find a bit of happiness on Earth, I was certain I'd find it in a woman of my life...never would I have guessed that I would find it within a group of senior citizens in a facility. I'm happy.
While there is great joy in my new line of work, I have also been experiencing a bit of sorrow as I'm finding more and more things that remind me of my father...I miss him.
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