Sunday, March 22nd, 2015: Whispering reminders

How often must I continue to fight these whispers in my head? Reminding me over and over of my low self worth of what other's are seeing when they're looking at me, they're returning louder and clearer. Reminding me of God's lack of presence, that I am alone, that I'm running out of ways and routes to escape these circumstances, they've grown louder. Ever presenting me with many options of release. Yet logic continues to play these situations out over my head of what would happen should I choose to accept any of these offers. And I have refused them all. But for how long? I'm not sure. They have returned and I need another escape from them.

Saturday, March 21st 2015: Farewell, Restwell

I wasn't kidding when I said I burnt bridges. Because I do, it's the only way I know how to avoid the pain. Often have I been left to burn from it all until nothing remains but ashes of myself, like a man foolishly walking into a furnace. That's how it was, the passion, the pain, the sorrow and impending rage just set me aflame. Even before our goodbyes did I light a torch, and waited until the moment for this bridge to burn. I can't say it was bad, for in it there was much light. But to see that light taken away for someone so undeserving, no I cannot stand for it- I'd sooner crush the light myself. And so the hour has arrived, in it our farewells, watching as the connection is severed and I stand there watching for a time longer. Picking up the gas can I soak myself and set myself aflame...