Yes things have gotten better with my family life and I'm grateful. But..why...I can get along with drug dealers, ex-con's, thieves and the most ungodly people..but why am I so disliked by my fellow Christians? Put off to the point where I sometimes feel like a pitied second class human. How is it that my best friend is a man who both doesn't understand God, and doesn't believe in him- but yet his treatment towards me and the acceptance is far more then that of many Christians I have encountered...Why do God's children push me aside?
This week I was in the brink of something great- a social life. A friendly loving kind of friendlship with a sweet gorgeous heart warming girl. It's been so long since I've talked to a girl the way I did with her..and just when things were about to take off..I get led on and dumped aside. When I called here, some guy picks up instead of her then tells me its "his" phone number. So I simply took it that she simply gave me the wrong number..but now she's ignoring me. I guess its very easy to underestimate me..to just undervalue me at first glance. Staring at my own reflection, I really question why am I so unliked. Looking at my face I see that its symmetrical, I have brown eyes, wavey black hair, somewhat of a big nose, a curvy face...whats so hated about me? She was gorgeous, cute...and led me to believe that maybe someone actually caught a glance at who I was. I guess not. I guess I'm just everyone's nothing...the beautiful letdowns are the worse kind of letdowns.
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