Thursday, July 14th, 2016: Withdrawing

It's been an eventful weekend for us in our two days off, helping her collect the rest of her belongings from her old apartment into her home- wrapping up the loose end from her life and the vile creature that was once her friend. Now that I'm finally home after having spent well over a day with her it's as if I'm going through withdraws again, the beer doesn't work, the cigarettes won't,  the food doesn't either, and no matter how much time I spend staring at this computer I cannot stop the aching in my heart. I'm alone again, I thought I'd be mildly happy since I still consider myself much of an introvert but instead I find myself yearning. It's in these moments when I am away, when I am alone and not distracted that I realize I'm still very much in love with her. No one can fill the void in my heart as she does, and for the rest of this evening I am half empty until we meet again. I still miss her and for that I know I still love her. And here I thought it was obvious that she would miss me but underneath all this apathy and introverted shell is someone who misses her just as much as well. I'm happy that I can still feel this way after over a year. I hope I continue to hurt this way for as long as I can with her.